Intimate partnership violence can be explained as a cyclic and repetitive behavioural pattern consisting of a tension building phase, the explosion of violence and a honeymoon phase.
The cycle of violence is a pattern often experienced in domestic violence, and it consists of three main phases, which tend to repeat as a cycle:
- A tension building phase: The relationship begins to simmer with tension, the abuser may raise their voice and become verbally abusive, jealous or possessive, and may react irrationally angry after each minor incident that upsets them. This phase does not necessarily have a specific duration, it can last for hours, days, months or even years.
- An explosion of violence: The escalating tension ends up with an outburst of intense violence from the partner. The abuser has a deliberate desire to hurt its partner and will verbally, physically and/or sexually attack the victim. This is the shortest phase and usually lasts from a few minutes to several hours.
- A honeymoon phase: The abuser feels sorry for the “explosion” and wishes to make up for their behaviour. The abuser may act apologetic and promise never to do it again. However, the tension almost always starts to build again, thus continuing the cycle.
In domestic violence cases, after the act of physical violence, it is common for the abuser to apologize to his victim, to say that he loves her and to make promises to change, which creates a fantasy and makes it harder for victim to leave the abusive relationship. However, the fact that the relationship has entered the so called “honeymoon” phase and there is no active violence at that time, does not mean that the domestic violence has ended. On the contrary, it is expected to enter the tension building phase and repeated violence. In addition, the abuser still maintains power and control over his victim during all phases, including the “honeymoon” phase.
If no one intervenes in the cycles of violence, the “periods of peace” between every cycle drop in length over time and every subsequent cycle increases in severity i.e., the phase of violence comes more often and is more severe, whereas the honeymoon phase tends to disappear. In many cases, the abuser does not need to use active physical violence against the victim to maintain control.